left to our own devices
As you might already know, I work on tech for wellbeing. But let’s not kid ourselves, my work is the minority. Much of our tech is making us a lot less well than we’d like to be. It’s hard to be mindful in daily life. It’s even harder when you live in a hyper-fragmented cornucopia of stimulation. In this day and age, I believe a healthy relationship with tech is a prerequisite for wellbeing.
More and more organizations are waking up this fact. I was asked to deliver a talk on the topic at the University of Toronto a few months ago. In preparation, I created this list of 9 tips to help you manage your tech for better sleep, relationships, and mindfulness. So I thought I’d share it here, too. Hope you find it useful!
Rest and Sleep
Sleep is a basic human need, along with food, water, exercise, and social connectedness. Based on an American study, it’s estimated that 40% of people get less than the recommended 7 hours or more of sleep per night. That’s up from 11% from almost a century ago. Perhaps not unrelated, 65% of adults say they’ve slept with their phones, and 90% of young adults do it regularly. The first step to reclaiming your mind from the attention economy is to reclaim the solitude of night.
Tip #1: Don’t let the internet in your bedroom
When you grab your phone to disable your morning alarm clock, it’s impossible to ignore all the notifications. It’s a trap. Get yourself an old-school alarm clock and kick the internet out of your bedroom. No laptops, phones, or tablets. Books and e-readers are fine. Not only will this give you space for sleep, it will also inspire you to be more decisive when you shut down your screens and go to bed.
Tip #2: Set time limits on screen time
If putting a space constraint on your tech doesn’t feel like the right fit, try a time constraint. You can set alarms on your phone or even get a handy timer which automatically shuts off your router at specific times. Having the internet evaporate at 9pm will feel frustrating at first, but soon it will become a cherished moment to warm up some chamomile tea and do a few quick stretches before you hit the hay.
Tip #3: Remove blue light from your screens at night
Over thousands of years, our bodies evolved to activate in response to blue light from the daytime sky. Your retinas have specific molecules which break down when subjected to light at blue wavelength, triggering cell signalling pathways which wake you up. That’s why removing the blue light from your screens using tools like Apple’s NightShift and f.lux help you wind down at night.
Relationships & Family
Did you know that social isolation is as dangerous for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes and alcoholism? Did you know loneliness is twice as harmful to both your physical and mental health as obesity? It’s hard to imagine, especially since we often think of our bodies as machines. But we’re not machines, we’re social animals. Social media often trick us into thinking we have lots of ‘friends’, but the reality is a few likes, hearts, or texts aren’t going to provide the sense of connection our bodies need to feel okay.
Tip #4: Don’t bring tech to the dinner table
Meals are a wonderful time to connect with those you’re closest to. Whether you’re living with family or roommates, or whether you need to invite a close friend for a picnic, maintaining the ritual of the ‘family dinner’ can be a powerful way to stay connected. Eating while watching TV shows or side-texting can totally sabotage your wellbeing. In fact, research has shown that the very presence of a phone on the table - even if the screen is off - can reduce the intimacy of connection. So put the tech away and enjoy your meals with people.
Tip #5: Tether your phone to its charger
We call our smartphones mobile devices because we can take them wherever we go. This can be a huge advantage when you’re lost downtown, but it can actually be a challenge at home. You might find yourself zoned into your phone no matter what room you’re in. It can help a lot to leave your phone tethered to its charger. I leave mine in my office. If I want to check something when I’m with my wife and son, I’m forced to excuse myself and walk to another room. Less convenient, but it prevents me from accidentally subjecting my two year old to the still-face experiment.
Tip #6: Call people
It’s important to remember that a healthy relationship with your devices doesn’t mean you’re anti-tech. How else could we collaborate and stay connected with people in other parts of the world? But remember, texting and messaging often lacks nuance and embodiment. It tricks us into thinking we’re connected when we’re not. Video calls don’t quite feel like meeting someone in the flesh, but some warmth is possible, especially if you intentionally set time to hang out with someone who lifts you up. And if you’re not into coordinating a video call, try experimenting with sharing voice notes or asynchronous video messages.
Awareness & Mindfulness
Being mindful in daily life is a skill. It’s all about training your mind to pay attention to what you want to pay attention to, and seeing things clearly as they are. Especially challenging when many of the influential ads and technologies in our society aim to pull you away from what’s happening in the moment. Our media environment is explicitly designed to trigger your desires, insecurities, and fears. That’s why it’s especially important to set parental limits for your inner child the same way you might with a bag of Doritos.
Tip #7: Remove sticky apps from your phone
When you’re out and about in the world, what’s that one app that draws you to keep pulling out your phone? Is it social media? News? Games? Or maybe your work email? Whatever it is, do an experiment: pull out your phone, and delete that app now. I can hear that little voice in your head saying “but Jay, I can’t delete that app.” But is that really true? I never thought I’d be able to remove email from my phone, especially since I work in tech. But I did, and it’s been wonderful. Best of all, my colleagues have learned to wait for my replies and they don’t seem to mind, either. Delete your cherished apps. It’ll be hard at first, but you’ll thank me in a week.
Tip #8: Use break timers when you’re working
When working on the computer, breaks are critical for your hips, shoulders, neck, eyes, and your mind. It’s easy to dismiss them, but they can make a world of difference, keeping you balanced and flexible throughout the workday. Set your own alarms or search online for one of the many break timers out there. I personally enjoy a 5 minute break every 40 minutes, and I keep a sticky with a short list of break ideas to help me short-circuit the momentum of knowledge work. What’s on my list of break options you ask? Make tea, breathe outside, stretch, meditate, or pet the cat. 🐈
Tip #9 Manage notifications and subscriptions
These days, emails and notifications are the major channels through which attention merchants command our minds. Set aside an hour or two to comb through your inbox and unsubscribe from all those emails you don’t actually open. Be honest with yourself and unsubscribe from everything you don’t actually read, even if you wish you did. Next, go into your smartphone and app notification settings and remove all notifications except those truly need your immediate attention. The right settings are different for everyone, but my phone only ever makes a sound when I’m receiving a call, or if my wife texts me. Otherwise, it’s silent. I never give tech companies or advertisers the power to pull me away from my life unless truly necessary - that’s what attention activism is all about.
Love Your Tech Again
No need to be too severe with all of this. Pick whichever tip feels workable for you, and stay open and curious as you explore it. Maybe you try something and it doesn’t work, that’s okay. As long as you’re happy with your relationship with tech and it’s not negatively affecting your wellbeing, that’s what matters. When I finally tamed the information overload, I fell in love with tech all over again. Sometimes we need a bit of space from something to truly appreciate it.