As I sit back at my desk this morning after a lovely holiday break, I’m taking a moment to reflect on 2023. I’ve been getting in the habit of doing end-of-year reviews, celebrating wins and calcifying what I’ve learned. I thought it might be fun to do it in public this time!
Here’s what’s been going on in my world this past year:
I meditated more playfully.
I stayed consistent with my regular meditation practice, and I also managed to go on a retreat in an experimental ‘playfulness’ meditation modality combining mindfulness, improv, and clown. It’s been hard to get away these past few years, so it was a double win: not only did I manage to go on a retreat, I went on one that really lightened things up for me. I was so inspired that I also managed to bring my team to a follow-up workshop and we got to play together. Who knew silly could be so profound?
I started writing a book.
I’ve been mulling over the idea of writing a book since I started this list. After a year, the pandemic hit and I slowed down on the prospect, taking time to write more aimlessly. After another year, I was still thinking about a book, but I wanted to let it happen without forcing it.
I’m celebrating the new year by announcing that I officially signed a publishing deal. I am now 6 chapters into a first draft of the manuscript. I will share more details very soon. Thank you for encouraging me by reading these posts. 🙏🏽
I helped create more tech for wellbeing.
At Still Ape, we:
helped a brain health startup design an interactive biofeedback experience
laid the design foundation for a new research institute crowdsourcing meditation brainwaves from serious practitioners
provided a wellness influencer with human-centered insight on her roadmap and helped redefine her unique approach to active meditation
updated content for the free, science-based meditation app we helped create, including adding more of my teaching to the program
worked with the creators of the world’s first prescription video game for ADHD to help validate an over-the-counter product to help adults train attentional skill
confidentially explored how mindfulness and compassion could inspire features and applications for a major tech company
explored progressive new ways to interact with large-language models for a new startup creating AI for emotional support
On top of all that, I co-founded a new AI + gaming + wellness startup with my bro and a childhood friend. It’s still kinda stealthy. All I can say for now is that we have an exciting prototype that’s already making people smile, and several highly influential potential partners and investors already engaged.
I used slowdowns more effectively.
That being said, we had a few periods of slowdown at Still Ape this year. Most people get pretty stressed when things are busy. As an entrepreneur, it’s also stressful when things slow down. It can feel like you’re failing, like the work might never come back. Maybe it’s not a slowdown, maybe it’s the end!
When the work wasn’t there, I certainly felt the stress, but also managed to tame that pesky doomer voice and relax at times. I’m getting better at riding the waves of running my own business. I used the downtime more effectively, securing a trade visa with the US, evolving our internal structure, sharing our processes at events, launching the book project, and updating the Still Ape website with more clarity and detail on what we do.
I remain committed to this work. I still firmly believe that a lack of mental and emotional wellbeing is a real factor in most of the major issues we face as a society. When I feel overwhelmed by news of war, terrorism, climate events, inequality and more, I try to keep my head down and work for good outcomes in my small corner of influence. I find solace in my belief that the work my peers and I do to increase global sanity will make at least some difference in this world we share. May 2024 bring us more hope.
I almost hit my fitness goals.
My fitness goal this year was to do yoga, go for a run, and hit the gym every week. I averaged about 20 minutes a week of yoga per week, went for 45 runs, and hit the gym for functional strength training 39 times. Not quite the goal, but pretty damn close. Plus, strength training was new for me in 2023, so one thing I can celebrate is creating a completely new habit.
I understood and accepted neurodiversity.
After lots of challenges and moments of wonder, we clarified and accepted our son’s neurodiversity this year. I also had some powerful interactions with members of my team who identify as neurodiverse, and went to a festival where I hung out with a lot of neurodiverse people. This has changed my perspective on belonging.
Specific clinical labels can be as ambiguous as they are useful. We are all unique. Labels and categories don’t define who we are, yet they’re extremely useful for calibrating our society to include people who aren’t served by the status quo. Different, not less. This is an issue that affects everyone, not just those with a diagnosis. We each interact with society from a different place, and that’s an important framing for all of us to keep in mind.
I started unpacking a few shadows.
‘Shadow work’ sounds like some hidden ninja skill, but it actually refers to working with one’s unconscious mind, exploring how some of our earliest experiences shape how we relate to the world. I will probably do a full post on this later, but for now, let’s just say I started pulling on a few strings with the help of an expert, and lots of progress was made.
It’s mind-blowing how much burden we carry without even knowing it. It’s been deeply liberating to put some of that burden down, not only for me, but for the people I care about, too. Take responsibility for your emotions and habits, y’all. Don’t dump them on other people.
I kept my musical soul breathing for another year.
I recorded and released new music in the most ego-free way yet. I had fun with it and shared it with less self-criticism than ever before. That felt like a huge win. This year, I also got a chance to be a session guitarist, write lyrics, and sing on someone else’s album for the first time. It was super liberating to contribute purely as a musician. Feels like I’m one step closer to my dream of dying with a guitar in my hands.
I read 18 books.
5 of them were the Demon’s Cycle series: I loved the dark magic, demons, wards, and epic character transformations. I also really loved Four Thousand Weeks. It’s popular for good reason; it’s an easy read and such an antidote to those of us who constantly feel like we don’t have enough time. The Creative Act was one of those fantastically spiritual books that’s not actually about spirituality, and The Course of Love felt like a must-read for anyone in a long-term relationship.
I didn’t eat that well.
I’m not the worst eater in the world, but I don’t devote nearly enough attention to what I put into my body. I manage things like coffee, alcohol, and meat pretty well, but oh man, the carbs! And the lack of veggies!
We all know what it’s like to overindulge in the good stuff. Many of us also know what it’s like to self-criticize our diets, too. My one-word resolution this year is SUSTENANCE; I’d like to get closer to balance, avoiding gluttony, but avoiding a guilty life of joyless austerity, too.
My first step has been to subscribe to a farm-fresh weekly delivery of local veggies and salad dressing. The plan is to snack on salads more, replacing all the extra carbs I munch on throughout the day. I’m optimistic, but we’ll see.
How about you?
What’s going on in your world? How was 2023?
What’s your intention for 2024?
Hit reply, let’s catch up.
Thank you for sharing, inspiring and engaging as always, and I can't wait to read the book! thank you for sharing your perspective and way of being