the social dilemma and the victim mentality
I used to get awkward looks when I told people I was concerned about social media. It was 2015 and I’d just started getting rid of the apps from my phone. When I told people about it, I might as well have been talking about UFOs or a fake moon landing.
The attention economy was already out of control and the need for a solution felt immediate. I had an inside view of the problem, so when I saw people I cared about glued to their phones, I felt like it was my responsibility to educate them.
It wasn’t the best approach.
People got defensive, and rightfully so; what right do I have to scare and guilt someone who’s just trying to live their life? Like most people who take rash actions on an ego-trip, I felt like I was saving people, but I was coming across more like a conspiracy theorist.
Well, now it’s 5 years later. I’ve put away my tin-foil hat, and I just finished watching The Social Dilemma - a trending Netflix documentary covering the impact of social media on our minds. I can barely describe how I feel about it, but I sure do recognize the tone.
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I’ve never reviewed anything before, but I felt like I had to write about this film. First of all, I’m thrilled at the fact that this documentary is even a thing. It’s amazing how awareness of these issues is spreading.
The film is incredibly comprehensive. It starts personal, addressing effects on mental health and families. Next, it exposes the technology and exploitative business models at play. Finally, it concludes political, noting social media’s threat to democracy. It’s all there.
During the ending credits, B-roll footage suggests we disable notifications, remove phones from the bedroom, and delete our accounts. Good advice, but it felt like an afterthought, and that’s when it hit me: the thesis of this film felt more societal than personal.
I’m not surprised - the Center for Humane Tech has been leading the charge, advocating to execs and politicians for years. I’m grateful for their important work, but this isn’t a senate testimony. This is Netflix. They have the attention of everyday people, yet the story still feels like it’s for elite decision-makers at the top of our society.
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The Social Dilemma issues a clarion call for social media reform. It successfully addresses the systemic ‘why’ behind the regulatory case. But it somehow fails to empower us to take responsibility for managing the attention economy in our own lives. Instead, it scares us and inadvertently pushes a very paralyzing mindset: the victim mentality.
At times, it almost felt like a horror movie. Foreboding music vibrating behind dramatic villains. It depicts us as helpless victims being puppeteered by a system beyond our control. It makes us feel guilty and powerless.
The film isn’t wrong. In some ways, we are indeed victims of the attention economy. But we are not powerless. We are the shepherds of this natural resource called ‘attention’. Our biological instincts are being hijacked to addict us, but the last thing we need is more fear, shame and guilt.
The victim mentality is dangerous because it provides us an excuse to give up. Being entirely at the mercy of the big machine is a convenient story to tell yourself as you throw in the towel. But you can’t give up. You need to take care of yourself, your loved ones, and your community, despite the attention economy.
When we stage an intervention for a drug addict, we put love and empowerment forward. We need to do the same with our collective dependence on broken tech. This movie tells a compelling story, but it presents no hopeful vision for the future. It does very little to inspire us to take up the cause in our own lives and stand up for a freedom of mind.
We need a new North Star.
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There’s no time to wait for regulation or ethical tech. You need to take bold action in your own life. At the same time, you need to be gentle with yourself. The fear and guilt isn’t useful. Sure, it’s hard to disconnect, but it’s not impossible, especially with a bit of hope to motivate you.
Set a clear intention, and remember that not all screen time is bad. Pulling away from greedy apps only to get sucked back in is all part of the process. It can help to search out and support new platforms serving up presence, authentic connection, and depth (they’re out there). And when your mind gets overcrowded by unwanted guests, kick them out. They’ll come back, and that’s okay. Kick them out again.
Stick to it for long enough, and next thing you know, someone will notice what great eye contact you’re making. You’ll feel your relationship with that person coming back to life. Or maybe you’ll go for a phone-free walk and notice the sunlight shimmering through trees as you take a deep breath and feel alive.
In those moments, you’ll remember that we are not lemmings walking off whatever cliff we’re pointed to. We have free will. While it’s true, these massive tech companies are pointing us where they want us to go, you don’t need to wait for them to clean up their act to do something about it.
The most powerful technology in this whole equation - in fact, in the entire universe - is still that greyish lump of jello between your ears. AI is not yet smarter than you in the ways that matter. And it may never be.
I applaud The Social Dilemma for promoting awareness and advocating regulation and ethics. But make no mistake, this is not a battle being fought only in boardrooms and senate chambers. The struggle lies in the seemingly mundane moments of your everyday life.
Those of us working on this problem are trying to get you reinforcements, but in the meantime, we need you to hold your ground.