ticket to ride (heather barnard, bt#5)

Alright y’all, this ‘better tech’ series is definitely confirming that I’m not alone: many digital wellness and mindfulness people who caution us about tech also love it.

Heather Barnard is no exception: she’s the founder of Tech Healthy Families where she helps schools, parents and businesses thrive in the digital world… and she likes to play an iPad game at restaurants with her family!? Love it. -JV

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JV: Hey, Heather, funny story. 15 minutes after you agreed to this, I got a message on WhatsApp from a ‘Heather S’ and apparently asked some scammer your first interview question.

HB: Did they answer?

JV: *laughs* Nope! Okay, let me try it again. What’s a personal favorite technology that you get a lot of joy, connection, or meaning from—or all of the above—in your personal life? And what do you love so much about it?

HB: I’ve been thinking about your question… It’s a really good one because so many things come to mind. I really do love technology. That’s a hard thing to get across to people, especially those who are completely against it, or think it’s a waste of time, or ruins our lives. But I really enjoy it, and my family really enjoys it, too.

Google Home helps me with recipe conversions and I use its camera to check on the dogs when I’m not home. That’s one. And of course, Netflix, FaceTime, things like that. But if I’m thinking about something day-to-day that people might not believe a digital wellness advocate like me appreciates, I’d talk about how my family and I love games.

When we’re all together and everyone’s home from uni during the summer or Christmas break, we’ll play board games like Carcassonne, Ticket to Ride, and Settlers of Catan. But you can’t take those when you’re traveling, and we love to travel as a family.

Many years ago, we found the app version of Ticket to Ride (Apple / Android), and it has become something we always do as a family when we’re traveling. When we’re waiting in an airport, or winding down in the living room of our Airbnb after a long day of touristing, we pull it out.

JV: Oh, wait… so you’re all gathered around the iPad at the Airbnb?

HB: It’s more of a pass-around game, and each turn doesn’t take too long. So we’re sitting there together, we’re still having conversations, we might be watching a TV show in the background, sharing photos from the day, but at the same time, we’re passing around this game of strategic play.

All of my kids love it, and my husband and I love it, too. It’s always with us when we travel. We don’t play it when at home, but it always seems to come out during trips.

Even if we’re sitting at a restaurant—and I know people out there are gonna say, “Don’t pull out your phones when you’re sitting in a restaurant!”—but again, I’m going to emphasize the fact that conversation is still flowing.

While we’re waiting for that very slow kitchen to bring food out, and everyone else is still chatting away, one person is taking their turn then passing off the tablet and rejoining the conversation. And as soon as the food comes out, we put the tablet away.

JV: People might be shocked to hear about a digital wellness expert using an iPad with the whole family at a restaurant…

HB: It’s just something that has brought my family joy, and it brings us together as well. Especially when it’s so tempting for teenagers to retreat to their bedrooms in an Airbnb while you’re traveling, and they just want to go on their phones and talk to their friends and catch up on social. This game keeps us together in the same room.

That is really valuable and something to think about, because it’s hard to get teens to engage with the family. Yet here they are, in the living room, doing an activity with the family, maybe even participating in the conversation, or at least listening.

So what if it’s on an iPad? I know it might not be the first piece of technology that comes to mind around bringing a family together, but it’s really working well for us. We look forward to using it together when we’re travelling. It feels special.

JV: Oh, I think this is a wonderful example. The image of luring teenagers out of their bedrooms is hard to understate. I can imagine your kids going off into their room to do their own thing, and you're like “Hey, are we gonna play Ticket to Ride?” and next thing you know, you're all connecting as a family in the living room.

HB: And it's because of the iPad.

JV: Oof, yeah, exactly. That really drives the whole point of this interview series home. Is there something you figured out that other people might not know, like tips and tricks to help them pull something similar off in their own families?

HB: My kids had iPods when they were three, five and seven, so we were never anti-tech. That’s a foundation. My husband and I are largely into tech, and we had boundaries in place from the get go.

We used OurPact on their iPods, and eventually their phones, until at least middle school and even high school. At first we just set the rules. But as they got older, we used it as a way to teach boundary setting, so we set up schedules with them, and had many discussions about why. That was key.

The approach in our family has always been about where boundaries are going to be, and what conversations are going to be like. I can count on one hand how many times we've actually taken devices away completely. We quickly realized that wasn't solving anything. It didn't do any good. It didn't teach them anything or build their skills.

I say all that to point out that it’s been an ongoing conversation. As a parent, you can't talk enough about it. Sure my older teens are used to hearing it by now, and they may roll their eyes. But because it's been a constant message and we’ve always had boundaries, it’s natural for them.

I never wanted to demonize tech. I never wanted to ban and block. Simply having an ongoing conversation about boundaries has been so much better for everyone.

When we’re playing Ticket to Ride, no one has their phones out. It’s not an explicit rule, but we’re playing that game and having face to face conversations. We’re entertained, we’re talking, and no one is looking for anything else. We could pass it around on an airplane, on a bus, at a restaurant, in the airbnb, and it engages us as a family. It’s great.

JV: What is keeping them so engaged? Is it just the nature of the game?

HB: Well, it’s a strategy game. So they want to win, which is a huge buy-in, right? So they want to stay there, they don’t want to miss their turn, and they want to participate.

But I think it all starts with how clear we’ve been from the get go about how your tech habits can make other people feel. They know that having a phone out can disrupt the game and feel like disrespect. When my kids are on their phones and I'm trying to talk to them, if I realize they're not listening, I literally just stop talking and look at them. I don't even say anything. They can feel me looking at them, or they hear the pause in the conversation, and they put their phone down and look at me.

So over time, it's the little things like that that add up. We're all guilty of this sort of thing, but it's just those little moments. Those constant conversations. It's really important to share what your values are constantly, what your views are constantly, and get this stuff out in the open without shaming or blaming. Without banning or blocking. Just making everyone aware of the habits that we have and how they might conflict with our values.

Over time, they get it. Nobody's perfect. Nothing is perfect. My family is not perfect. It's just a constant conversation and that sinks in over time. That’s the important part.

JV: My son just turned six and you’re making me feel like we’re on the right path. Things get shaky sometimes, but we are definitely having the conversations. As someone who professionally focuses on digital wellness, how does it feel to be publicly celebrating and talking about Ticket to Ride instead of maybe talking about all the pitfalls with tech?

HB: You're right, it feels different. The loudest voice in the room is often negative. And I think a lot of people find themselves in echo chambers of negativity around this stuff without even realizing it.

That’s why I’m loving this conversation, where we’re promoting technology in a productive, beneficial way—bringing people together and finding purposeful flow. These conversations are few and far between. Most of my discussions are with parents or schools who are dealing with consequences—banning, blocking, setting up rules.

In my time teaching in a school, I saw how technology could be used well with children from kindergarten to grade 12. It’s not just about replacing something—it’s about enhancing and taking learning further, both inside and outside the classroom. That’s where the conversation needs to go.

Too often, it’s like, “Here are all of our problems,” or, “We took a survey, and here’s all the negative feedback.” That’s the starting point, and it’s necessary, but the goal is to move beyond that. We all know the problems. The real question is, what are we going to do to change things?

Yes, there are harmful aspects of technology, but we don’t talk enough about the joyful, productive, and meaningful possibilities it offers. When technology is used to bring people together, enhance knowledge, or even just help us learn a new hobby, there are so many positives. And sometimes the positives can even reduce the negatives.

Conversations like this, that highlight thriving and flourishing online, productivity, and even gaming, are so valuable. They help shift the narrative away from “gaming is bad” to examples of it being purposeful and meaningful. That’s why I really appreciate this—it shines a light on how these interactions can actually be positive and productive.

JV: What would you say to a parent who is struggling to get their kids to stop playing so many video games?

HB: That circles us right back to Ticket to Ride: gaming, in general, has such a bad rap, and that’s unfortunate. There’s a big difference between shallow, solo gaming and more collaborative, meaningful gaming. Maybe instead of trying to get them to stop playing, we can explore how to help them choose better games to play. And this might be hard to hear for some parents, but maybe you might even play with them?

Ticket to Ride is collaborative, requiring people to be in the same room, passing the device around. It creates this dynamic where a parent can see what a child is doing and interact with them, and vice versa. It’s not just about the game—it’s about the connections it fosters.

Games like Ticket to Ride bring people together. They spark conversations, emotions, and even little frustrations, like, “You blocked me!” or, “I can’t use that card anymore!” Those interactions are so meaningful for family dynamics. Parents get to see how kids handle frustration, problem-solving, and strategy, which are all critical thinking skills that games can build.

Gaming is not bad. That’ll be my final statement. *laughs*